HMD - Junker

[srwu_mods]

This is a How's My Driving post for the SRWU player Junker.

Junker's characters:
srwjunker Russel Bagman, canon - Super Robot Wars Original Generation
fire_dancer Raquel Manora (OC), canon - Super Robot Wars Compact 3

Comments

[kinaesthete]

Hey, this is the kind of crit it's hard to give without sounding like a jerk, but that's definitely not my aim here. Your tags are often quite difficult to understand. I think there are a few different factors in play - trying to fit too much in at once (this is especially noticeable on missions), typos and errors that trip me up as I read, and unclear structure that switches topic mid-sentence and makes the flow of the writing hard to follow. I'm not sure what I can actually suggest, beyond more careful proofreading and maybe spreading the text out a bit more on the screen - more use of full stops in place of commas, paragraphs instead of blocks of text, etc. - and moving some things from character dialogue to simple description and narration, as having the characters comment on so much IC can sound quite stilted and artificial.

To be clear, I'm saying this not to discourage you or tell you off, but in the hopes it'll help you make your tags easier to understand and respond to so that you can get more replies and have more fun playing.

Good luck!

[fire_dancer]

The skipping about is something I find that can catch me off guard as that's how my mind actually works some days. As for too much? I'm actually restraining my self from how much I'd normally put down.

I must confess I'm from another form of RP called MUSHing, it's old and I only think a few other people here. Are aware of just what it is. I actually feel like I'm not giving people /enough/ detail.

where generally more detail can often go down in a post/pose or whatever you wish to call it. So I'm actually attempt. No your not being an ass. Also I am a derp, for not checking sooner.